Too Many Tears

It’s been 365 days since a 15-year-old walked into Oxford High School here in Michigan and opened fire on his classmates. Four young people lost their lives a year ago today. An entire community was traumatized. What did we learn? Not much. Not enough to prevent it from happening again in Uvalde. Not enough to prevent it in Tulsa, Philadelphia, Harlem, or Newark in June. Not enough to save the lives of families celebrating their freedom at a Fourth of July parade in Highland Park. Raleigh, Charlottesville, Colorado Springs, Chesapeake.

I realize this post isn’t going to be like most of my others, but there is so much on my heart today. This afternoon I began looking up numbers for mass shootings that occurred since I started this kindness project- on February 21, 2021. I had to stop. There were just so many- far more than I’ve heard about, including seven this week. Let that sink in. Seven. This week. What are we doing?

I am heavyhearted and furious and feeling hopeless. Do we throw up our hands at the futility of standing up and speaking out? Do our tears mean anything? I just don’t know. We’ve witnessed decades of lawmakers arguing, shouting, explaining away, distracting, and ultimately doing nothing. What’s left?

I know a couple of things:

*Our voices do matter. Keep speaking up, even when it seems to have no effect. Don’t stop. Other voices will join you.

*Giving up feels like less of an option when you close your eyes and picture children in a classroom, cowering behind desks and bullet-proof backpacks. When you see the photos of tiny coffins carrying tiny bodies. When you hear a distraught mother say she truly doesn’t know how to go on.

*I’m just a nobody old lady in a small midwestern town, and I can’t do big things. But small things? I’m all over that. I can show kindness in my community. I can remind my family and friends how crazy I am about them. I can leave anonymous, encouraging notes on shelves in stores. And I can make gnomes for strangers, and for strangers who’ve become friends.

*I can vote and I can donate. I vow to vote for candidates who seem to be taking the gun crisis in our country seriously. And I can and will donate to organizations that are doing the Big Things. Specifically, Everytown for Gun Safety. On their website, www.everytown.org, they clearly lay out areas of reform on which they’re focusing, and then break down the work they do in a really transparent manner.

Thank you for reading this far, even though the post is a bit of a bummer overall. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and we have to remind each other that we’re not alone in our fear and our pain. We were always meant to fight together, to grow together, and to celebrate together.

I heart you all so very much.