from my heart

Many of you lovelies have been here from the beginning, when I, full of doubt and hesitancy but also hope, posted a query about the interest in an as-yet-unformed idea for a kindness project. I am deeply, wildly, and forever grateful for each of you. I have learned a grown in many ways since that chilly February middle-of-the-night social media post. Here are some things I know for certain:

Kindness is always the best, most powerful option.

Surprise kindness feels like the universe throwing you a For No Reason Whatsoever party on a huge, white fluffy cloud with streamers and confetti and delicious, creamy, sugary treats.

Secret, undercover kindness is no less powerful or party-like because it’s not seen or witnessed; in fact, it may be the powerful-est and party-est of all.

And people who are drawn to and supportive of weird little anonymous kindness projects are the very, very best humans that the universe offers.

This next part is going to be hard to write. Bear with me, please.

The truth is, I’ve lost my center.

I’ve gotten so far away from the beautiful simplicity of felting adorable creatures and sending them out into the world, that for months now I haven’t known how to recapture the joy. I’ve felt like I’m failing at everything and am letting everyone down. I am so good at BIG IDEAS but truly lack the skill to do all the little, crucial things that make the BIG IDEA successful.

I hate feeling that I’m disappointing people. It feels like a giant, oppressive dark cloud that follows me around and steals my joy. I’ve spent that last few weeks trying to figure out what to do and how to get back the giddiness I felt in the beginning of this project.

So, here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going back to the beginning. I’m going to focus on the simple act of putting anonymous kindness into the world. I’m going to make gnomes and send out gnomes to folks who want to share that giddy feeling by leaving them somewhere for a stranger to find. That’s it. Some days, if I have the time and energy, I may post a tutorial or a poll or a group felt-along. But those things must be extras and rare and not scheduled or expected.

You all have been wildly generous with your support and love and kindness toward me. I cannot stress enough the absolute truth that you have changed and enriched and brought joy to my life. I’m so stinking lucky to be the recipient of your kindness. Please, please know that the last thing I want to do is let you down. When I say at the end of a post that I heart u, please know that what I’m really saying is “I love you. I appreciate you. You are light and goodness and a gift to the world.”

If you’re willing to stay and follow along for the next steps, I’d be so very grateful. If not, I understand. Truly.

Here’s what’s next. Gnome requests will open on Monday, October 2. I’ll take as many requests as I feel I can fill in a reasonable period of time. I’ll celebrate Post Office Days as the gnomes are finished. And when those requests are all filled, we’ll do it all over again. That’s it. Simple. Doable. And with so much love.

I’m going to end here for now. This is raw and unedited and likely full of mistakes and for that I apologize, but if I don’t do this right now, I’m afraid I’ll just keep putting it off.

Thank you for changing my life and making me a better me.

i heart you so very, very much.